Signs and Wonders

The Henry County Report is back… I heard some people saying at a store this week. I just stood and smiled; they had no idea who I was. In truth, we were never gone you just had to know how to look. It’s always been archived. But I have decided to take up my pen and keep a little personal blog after reading a few things.

A few days ago I decided to get some local news so I went online. I learned a squirrel…yes, a squirrel was using meth and was trained to attack people. The Limestone County Sheriff’s Department raided a home and made two arrests. One was a squirrel. Now just how exactly does one arrest a squirrel? Reports indicate deputies believed the person arrested had a pet squirrel that was fed meth to help keep it aggressive and trained to attack people. (Note to self, I can’t believe I just wrote that.)

So arrests were made of a man and squirrel. The squirrel was caged and hauled off in the paddywagon. Animal control got involved, and they could not figure out a way to test the attack squirrel” for meth, fortunately a Alabama Game and Fish officer intervened and they released it. But what if the squirrel had tested positive for drugs, then what? The home raided then was discovered not even to be where the man lived nor did they get the right man. The tree the squirrel was nabbed from was in a city easement, so no is sure yet who owns the squirrel. There is an outstanding warrant for the man below with the squirrel. Pause right there. Limestone county’s finest, made a drug bust arrested the wrong man, went to the wrong house and arrested an attack squirrel. Think Barney Fyffe on LSD. But note that headline for the evening newscast on WTHR a NBC affiliate. Someone with a badge told them Police find a attack squirrel on meth”, the news director and reporter both believed this and ran with it for the evening news. That sounds almost as bad as Dothan’s elite press corp.

I was able to get a link to a video from Paulk, the man who they were after, who is “on the lamb” rejoined with the attack squirrel. He defends the squirrel and claims he is not a killer, but is a “mean motherfucker” as he rubs his stomach and ears below.

He’s not a trained attack squirrel…” Paul says. And he’s not on meth I’m pretty sure. Better not find out he’s on meth, anyway.” He told the Washington Post that My squirrel is babied beyond anything anyone can imagine, it has a very good life”. Don’t you just love that statement, who on earth would believe there is such a things as a trained attack squirrel”? ( Note to self cancel subscription to Washington Post)

The Limestone County Sheriff’s Department is withholding comment, not surprising because imagine how exactly they comment on a drug raid that hit the wrong house where an attack squirrel was arrested and accused of being on meth but later had to be released. The Police academy In Birmingham that trained these officers refused to comment on procedures to arrest squirrels.

Signs and wonders the bible says.

Seeing how the big time Alabama news sites were strange, I went national. Here I learnedthat young people are growing horns. Yep horns.

X ray of horns growing on man’s headX ray of horns growing on man’s head I’m not joking. After perusing a few X-rays and listening to doctors interviewed describe the horn phenomena, I had to just turn off my computer.

Signs and wonders the bible says.

After a break and cup of coffee, I decided all this was just too damn weird, so I opened up the fancy new Apple news program. There I saw a tranquil picture of a moose in Alaska and clicked it. Here I learned in a borough of Alaska, which is what they call a county. A local government opened the meeting with a prayer to Satan. Hail Satan,” the people were saying. This was too much, so I went to check on the cows.

Signs and wonders the bible says.

Jennifer Johnson the Bama Sodomizer Jennifer Johnson, AKA the Alabama Sodomizer”.

When I tried a news search on my phone, I learned a Alabama woman sexually assaulted an unconscious man. Apparently there was a video made of him duct taped, hand and legs bound as she….did certain things including sodomizing him while he was drugged with GHB (Gamma-Hydroxybutyric acid). Certain parts of his body reportedly were in rough shape”. Now what in the hell is in a woman’s mind to just attack a man and sodomize him ? Imagine Your this girl’s parents and looking at her mugshot on the evening newscast going out and drugging and sodomizing men in the community. You got to ask yourself where in the hell did such behavior come from.

Signs and wonders the bible says.

The world appears to have gone crazy, Alabama appears to be unsafe. I believe these are all the signs and wonders” the bible speaks of. Hopefully, I can add a little clarity to all this, elevate the discussion to issues that really matter and document some real news, and I assure you I will not be growing horns and riding around in a truck harassing young lady reporters (Tiffany McGrath) like drama boy.

As for the hail satan,” crowd I will just say this if the devil is seen in Henry County Alabama unlike Alaska, we will shoot him on sight.


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